Phillip Schofield has said that his broadcast career is gone because he “brought [himself] down” by lying about an affair with a younger guy.
The 61-year-old former This Morning host resigned from ITV last week after confessing his “biggest, sorriest secret,” a “unwise but not illegal relationship” with a guy in his mid-20s.
Schofield told BBC News in his first interview since quitting ITV, “I have brought myself down.” I’m finished. It pains my heart to have to speak about television in the past tense.”
He said that he “wouldn’t be here” if his daughters had not supported him last week. “They’ve guarded me and won’t let me out of their sight,” he said.
Despite his sadness during the interview, he felt compelled to speak out “because there is an innocent person here who didn’t do anything wrong.”
“I just have to say, ‘Stop with him,’” he continued. That’s OK with me. But stop with him now and leave him alone.”
“I don’t know when I’ll be able to walk out the door,” he told the Sun.I’m devoid of spirit. ‘It will get better,’ my pals assure me. It will not. Not right now. Certainly not this one.”
“I’m getting by hour by hour,” he continued. “I have my girlfriends and my friends.”
Schofield is referring to his former girlfriend, whom he met when the guy was a 15-year-old youngster at theatre school and whom he “totally innocent[ly]” followed on Twitter after a friend informed him the child was a fan.
He denied flirting with the child and claimed he was “hardly” in contact with him other than to provide career guidance and work experience at the studio until the guy was 20 or 21, and had began working at ITV. At the time, Schofield was married.
He said that there was “absolutely no” initial sexual interest and responded “no, god, no” to the question of whether he had a sexual connection with the youngster when he was underage.
According to Schofield, the affair began a few months after the guy began working on the programme. “We’d become friends.” Something occurred in my dressing room one day that I will undoubtedly regret for the rest of my life, both for him and for me – primarily for him.”
He claimed that no one else on the crew, including his co-presenter Holly Willoughby, was aware of the affair. “This has been the lie’s catastrophe. “It begins with denial, and then the rumours begin; you lie, you’ve had a workplace fling, and you lie about it,” he said.
He described the episode as “a very grave error” rather than an abuse of authority. “I was to blame. “I was older, I should’ve known better, and I shouldn’t have done it.”
Schofield blamed his demise on the deception being “too big for both of us” and moving over from internet conjecture to mainstream news. “All of that persistent negative coverage – it wouldn’t stop, it just kept going… It goes on and on, day after day after day after day after day.”If you don’t believe that will have a devastating impact on someone’s psyche, what do you want me to do? Because that’s exactly where I am. “I lost everything.”
In an earlier BBC interview, Schofield was asked whether the fact that an internal ITV probe failed to unearth the affair indicated it was a fake. He said, “If you have two people who are lying, then what can you do?”
When asked why anybody should trust him now, Schofield said, “Only my friends and family should be concerned about that.” You no longer have to be concerned about what I say.”
When asked what he would want to say to the guy with whom he had an affair, Schofield said, “I’d say to everyone I lied to, I am deeply sorry, but most importantly, I’d like to apologise to him.” I’ve caused you so much anguish, and I’ll never be able to forgive myself.”
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